“We’re off to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of OZ.”
I sure hope when I get there, if I get there,
that I’m gonna know what to do with this Tardis.
Wilson’s Tardis.
I’ve never been in one before. And I don’t think they have a manual pinned to it anywhere,
so …
And if I do figure out how to operate it, what’s it gonna do?
What’s going to happen?
Where am I gonna go?
The second set of numbers?
I am really counting on them to be latitude and longitude.
(Plus, I’m assuming that Wilson will be there. Or somewhere thereabouts.)
Where is it going to take me?
I did Google up those numbers. Assuming they were “lat-long”. They take you to the Flattops of Colorado.
Which is very, very interesting. The Flattops were my old playground for hunting and fishing and camping when I was a really younger man.
Lots of awesome memories. LOTS.!!!
But my question is, “if I get in this Tardis at one location, and it takes me to the second location, why couldn’t I just go to the second location to start with?
“Time.”
Was my instant answer.
That’s where “time” comes into play.
Isn’t that what a Tardis is all about anyway?
But,
why, and how, does time play a role in all this?
Anyway, my backpack’s filled. I got my boots on.
“We’re off to see the Wizard.” “Follow the Yellow Brick Road.”
Or in this case, The FOG.
I sure hope I know what I’m doing.
We’re about to find out.
And if I don’t, I sure hope I can come back.
Just a tangent to the labyrinth of concepts at hand – just a “minor” bit of personal philosophy – “you don’t go into, where you can’t get out of”.
There’s nothing to do about it anyway. I can’t leave Wilson out there by himself.
I won’t. I don’t have a choice.
I do.
BUT,
I don’t.!!!
My momma taught me about Damon and Pythias. And Farley Mowat wrote a good one about “The Two Who Were One”.
My thoughts changed abruptly. I wouldn’t be surprised if when I got there, wherever there is, that there isn’t another clue.
I got this feeling that it’s not as simple as, get in one place, and voila, I’m there at the other place. The second set of numbers.
And there’s Wilson, waiting for me.
This isn’t like the airport. Or the train station. Or the bus depot. Where you just know someone is there waiting to pick you up.
My minds changes tacks again – to yet another point of consternation – once I reach the Tardis.
I remember the General saying there were ‘two’. You had to pick just the right one. And, they switched. It wasn’t always the same Tardis you entered.
All this is goin’ through my head as I’m walkin’ along.
After a while, I finally reach the FOG.
And into it I go.
Into the FOG.
All I can do is, head in the same general direction I’ve been goin’. Up and West.
After some time, as I am walkin’ along, I noticed something. At first I had no idea what I was noticing. That I was even noticing anything.
Something about the little cocoon of an existence I was in as I walked along.
Something about the atmosphere. Besides the FOG. It didn’t feel right.
Then it came into focus.
I noticed there wasn’t any birds singin’. There wasn’t any squirrels chirpin’. There wasn’t any bugs. No mosquitoes. There wasn’t any breeze. I mean NONE.!!! It was completely still. The whole world was like in a vacuum. Void of anything.
Dare I sat it, “I was in a fog”.
But, as soon as I was done joking around, the FOG gave way to an opening. About the size of a small gymnasium.
It was like the “eye of a hurricane”. There was still a “ceiling”, but …
I start “into” this clearing,
(remember my philosophy – U don’t go “into” where U can’t “get out of” ?).
Since it was quite small, it didn’t take long before I was coming to the end .
As I approached the end of the clearing,
I suddenly think I hear a twig break behind me. I turned around to the right and just for a second, I thought I saw a whisper, like a ghost, an apparition, a vision of Wilson.
And here I thought I was about to “get out” of what I just got “into”.
There wasn’t anything there just a minute ago.
But, having turned around,
I,
I blinked. Shook my head a little. To clear the cobwebs.
And when I re-looked, Wilson was gone.
That seems to be a recurring theme around these parts these days.
Or, maybe there was no Wilson there to start with. From the get-go.
I started to turn back to my left.
And as I did, some little flash of light, some little wisp of smoke caught my eye. Right before I almost finished turning around.
I wheeled my head back around to the right. Real quick. Like a shot.
And,
lo and behold,
there was the Tardis.!!!
20 feet in front of me.
I can’t believe it.
Again I blinked. Shook my head to clear the cobwebs. Once more.
When I opened my eyes, to the right of the Tardis, about 15 feet,
was another Tardis. This must be the General’s second Tardis.
I leaned my head back in disbelief.
This time, I shook my head real good. Closed my eyes, and made one hell of an effort to clear my brain. Clear my senses. My thoughts.
Right before I opened my eyes I stopped.
I think I was afraid of opening them.
But, I did. I did open them.
And what did I see?
Not the two “original” Tardises,
but, three Tardises.!!!
Another 15 feet to the right of the second one.
All I could say was “holy **** ”.!!!
My eyes are glancing back and forth between the three Tardises. My brain is glancing back and forth inside my skull.
I’m studying on this experience real hard. And I’m thinking to myself, “OK, … self, so far, every time I’ve shut my eyes and shook my head in disbelief, another Tardis pops up.”
So, as I’m laughing to myself,
I’m saying, “What the hell. Let’s do this one more time.”
So I take all three Tardises into my vision, lean back, tilt my head back, close my eyes, and shake my head in disbelief.
‘Cause really, I’m really in total disbelief, regardless of what my senses are telling me.
I shake my head. Close my eyes. This time I even squint.
Take one big guess as to what I saw when I opened my eyes.
Go ahead. Guess.
You’ll never guess.
Not in a million years.
BUT, … you’d still guess right.
When I opened my eyes,
I’ll be go to hell if there weren’t four Tardises.
Do you believe this?
I don’t.!!!
I’m not believing this at all.
And yet, there they are 1, 2, 3, & 4.
No way.!!!
OK.
I’m laughing to myself even harder now.
Um, let’s do this one more time. ??? !!!
Why not.???
It’s a game right?
It’s not real?
Right?
So I close my eyes. Shake my head. This time I say to myself,
“I really don’t believe what I’m seeing. This is not real.”
I squint again. Shake my head.
One last time.
And open my eyes.
Yes sir.
There’s a 5th Tardis.
Andy Warhol would be proud as hell.
Every last one of ‘em is different.
Every last one of ’em is like a different can of soup.
A different Marilyn Monroe picture.
You talk about the Twilight zone. I’m livin’ it.
So, I’ve got five Tardises.
I’m thinking,
“Do I really wanna try this one more time?”
I decide to think on it real hard.
So I decide.
No freakin’ way.!!! That’s it.
Call me Popeye the sailorman,
“That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more.”
I’m makin’ 5 Tardises my absolute limit.
And in producing each one of theseTardises, they kept appearing to the right about 20 feet.
They formed a circle. I’m encompassed by tardises.
Then the craziest thought occurred to me. Back to the giant question posed by the General –
“which Tardis is the right one???”
Before,
the question was,
“which of the ‘two Tardises’ was the right one?”
Now I’ve got 5.!!!
If I get in the right one,
I get taken to that second location. Hopefully.
If I get in the wrong Tardis, do I go to somewhere wholly different?
And where might that be?
And if I get in a third Tardis, do I go anywhere at all? Maybe. Maybe not.
I ain’t getting in that one if I don’t think I can get back out. I’ll get in any of the other ones, just not that one.
But, which one is that???
See what I mean???
Now I’m starting to freak myself out.
That’s only three of the Tardises. I got two more. What’s gonna happen to me if I get in one of them?
And which one is which?
How in the world should I know. !!!! ???? !!!!! ?????
I don’t know.
We haven’t even touched on the element of time.
Does the wrong one take me to the wrong time? Like Europe, during the “Black Death”, or the “Inquisition”.
WRONG TIME.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, out of the blue, and into my head, comes a very “juxta-positional” thought.
Maybe underlying the entirety of the current situation.
Note to self – “Why did Wilson go missing in the first place?”
And then when he comes back, he’s not alone. He’s got a “girlfriend”, Ashley.
Then “his Army” starts showing up. Remember, “I didn’t even know he had an army”.
“Who are those guys?” (“Butch and The Sundance Kid”)
And now he’s missing again.
I don’t understand.
EVERYONE’s missing.!!!
Am I about to become missing???
I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he would just disappear on me like that. Why would he do that?
What about friendship? And loyalty?
I gotta take a nap.!!!
BSOT
Ian
me, the Dalai Lama & Jack Nicholson 